I'm 3 blocks south of you watching drag queens.
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
Im sick of reading dumb tattoos while having sex
Come see our sink grown plant.
Oh please. You given/recieved a handjob out in public. I think that shy ship has sailed.
Remember when I was so high that I thought my appendix burst? All I had to do was fart man, just fart.
I felt like a dog for all the times during sex that he said "good girl"
It was the best present I've gotten since I was 5 and I got a fucking easy bake oven. I'm not pregnant for realsies. Celebratory party at the house tonight. Invite all the nice dicks you know.
You talked the cab driver into taking a shot from your flask at a red light because "Ray Charles would want him to"
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Hahaha idk what's worse your life or my hangover.
My dad's girlfriend is driving through the snow to bring me my purple haze. If he doesn't wife her up, we have a bigger issue on our hands.
I'm not sure if 14 year old me would be disappointed or proud that I fucked him behind her middle school??
How was jagerbomb pong?
It was like communism. Great in theory. Terrible when put into practice
I'm disappointed in the internet. It's two days and there's still no fanfiction based off that Manning/Beckham commercial.
You don't even like football
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