Every time we have sex I can't stop thinking about Jesus
is it cool if i come over and use your computer?
what happened to yours?
i got a little to drunk last night and threw up on it...then i tried to wash it off under the sink.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
The girl in the white might have stds. I'm strangely okay with this.
I'm not sure if you saw my recent facebook update, but I have already put the Radio Flyer wagon to good use. I had someone pull me to the nearest bar.
If I EVER wake up with two black eyes again you better come up with a better story than trying to see how many punches I could take.
Apparently campus cops frown on lighting a joint off of the eternal flame on Jerry Falwell's grave...
Like I had to call my dad because I couldn't manage to unlock the door. And when he got there to open it I was climbing the gate to get in.
how did you know i stayed over last night?
there was a trail of glow sticks and cheetos from the front door all the way to his bedroom
I lost my flask somewhere between dancing shirtless to The Spice Girls and walking around Wawa opening/eating things and putting them back.
We had sex in his hot tub. Then we saved a mouse that almost drown in his pool. We celebrated our heroism with more sex.
We can't stop being roommates, you do such a good job of holding my hair back when I puke. I don't wanna buy hair elastics.
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
This sucks! All of the twenty something dick I was getting went home when the university closed
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