Ok Hollywood, I get it. Megan Fox is hot. Now she is in a movie where she is so hot that dudes just fucking die. Great.
I feel like sober is me a distant relative that I only see on christmas..
what did gay clubs do before lady gaga
Oh my god it just tripped me out that I used to be a baby, I had to tell you.
I've see this movie. You sext me after the bar and fall asleep mid sentence. Roll credits.
All I'm saying is that whoever owned the wheelchair clearly didn't need it or they wouldn't have been able to leave it there
I've started bribing my dorm's security guard with cookies so that he doesn't tell all the boys i'm hooking up with about each other.
That stripper was not happy when I tried putting a dollar in her court mandated ankle bracket/tracking device
Jesus horatio Christ I forgot my mittens and am considering shoving my hands down the pants of the first semi attractive man I see
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I like that you use a Disney movie to describe the starting of our BDSM relationship, lmao
Come camping we have xanax and steaks
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
Taco Bell is better for you than cocaine, I promise.
I quit doing blow for him. If that doesn’t say “I’m in love with you and want to marry you” idk what does
Randomize
