How come ATM is perfectly acceptable, yet not washing your hands after you poo is socially reprehensible?
They only remember me when they're drunk...I'm like a suppressed memory.
Also, do you think you think his dick is perfect bc you loved him? Or is it actually perfect?
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
Whatever. I'm just trying to get my dick sucked while taking online harmonica lessons
Faces of meth called, they want their look back.
yeah but think of how much more hungover we'd be if we didn't steal those cookies
I have got to stop letting people hang ornaments from my nipple ring.
Tis the season.
Can you find me some 'I threw up in my hair last night' medicine?
I seriously had alll four of your knuckles bruised into my arm
YOU DESERVE A GUY WITH A NORMAL DICK DONT SETTLE FOR ANYTHING LESS
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
While having sex, a German accent isn't sexy.
"The More You Know"
I mean I'd assume the strange looks are on account of the fact that I'd imagine people normally don't stink of booze on an 8:14am flight.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
Randomize
