Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
If you're going to watch porn, can you atleast be considerate and watch it on my old laptop and not the new one?
the blizzard started in kansas. im debating driving to a bar now so i can get snowed in there for the game
Highlight of my weekend: having my card suspended due to "suspicious charges" and standing in line at the gas station yelling at customer service on the phone that I really did go to 4 different strip clubs in one night
That's so unfortunate for him bc you can always find another penis, but he's stuck with it
He shaved off his eyebrows. This is not my life.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
He won't stop licking me..... im choosing your date next time.
I love flavors. My neighbour is owide smoking and so am I. I'm adio boooooored and I need an adult.
So were u tired or drunk when u wrote last night's text message?
pills.
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
We 6 way cheers-ed with French fries last night, hammered, in the booth.
I'm just wondering how Jon managed to get vomit ON THE CEILING?
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
This is a question I thought I'd never have to ask. How many hits of acid did you give your dad tonight?
The smell of pee and coconut conditioner still makes me think of him
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