I was the only open register tonight and I just sold condoms and chocolate frosting to the ex..
i mean you're really good at taking the morning after pill...so you could put that on your resume..
yeah, i think fast in a bad sitatuion and am able to react with appropriate measures
it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
I remember spending $50 at Ozzie's on Friday...my Visa remembers $120.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
I come back into the room and you're grinding with the person in the mascot suit.
Take in how we used all the shot glasses in the bar in less than an hour
This isn't fair. Why can't sober me be good at bejeweled?
I just want school to he over so we can build a big tent, do drugs inside it, and watch cartoons until the sun comes up.
That's all I've ever wanted.
My roommates said duck dynasty was stupid ... toto i don't believe we're in kansas anymore.
I haven't had to masterbate since I started dating him over a year ago. I don't even know if I remember how and my vagina is calling.
I'm pretty sure I just came a kidney stone..
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
I didn't have anyone to cheers so I tapped my beer on your fish tank... a little too hard
I sure hope so...I wonder if he could tell in that email that I'm really good at blow jobs. Hopefully he heard that tone. Any means necessary.
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