also, made friends with this 75 year old millionaire Tony who likes to mosh. Don't ask.
She was hit by a car at 47 mph and lived. That explains everything.
he said i took off my shirt and wrote "help HATI" on my tits, and charged people to motorboat me..... i'd like to say i woke up with 267$ in my purse
You wrote me a letter and I cannot make out anything you wrote except the last sentence which says "tell the wolf ill meet him at sunset and that I'm sorrry"
i took it, then realized you live 3 ours away. but if you start driving now, im almost positive I'll still be hard
How would u feel about transportimg a penis shaped ice luge to nashville?
You can't say "they have anal bleaching for that" and then just hang up
i had choclate birthday cake for breakfast and am currently flossing my teeth w a condom wrapper. at work. hot mess for 200 alex
I'd like to say yes, but I nearly lost my shit when I assumed there was no back to my house. I am not strong enough for hallucinations.
I'm praying that the company stray cat shows up tomorrow. I think I may have hit it while leaving Friday. Nobody will believe it was an accident after I hit the last one.
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
Currently hot boxing a fort I made on our snow day... This is legendary
I wanna go back to school and change my major to psych just to make a case study out of her
Which president had the biggest dick?
Take your time, I'll wait
You took one look at him and said "let's hope I don't remember this tomorrow" then you took another shot and chased it with a beer.. I guess it was a success.
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