you're out of your mind
you look like daphne blake and he looks like fozzie bear
it's like he rubbed a lamp and wished you into existence
All I remember from last night is puking up a box of cheeze-its and the building catching on fire.
Just realized the hot girl at the office got a boob job over the Holiday.....she is now super-hot girl.
Vodka and Eggs at 9:30AM = thank you, America.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
I've learned something. I regret way too may Tuesdays in my life to be normal
College freshman give noticeably better blowjobs by the 5th week of the semester.
I give him a gold star every time I orgasm. His room looks like he's freaking King Midas.
They wear helmets and mouth pieces when they drink...u down?
But apparently I got kicked in the head by a stripper at some point
He asked for a foot job. Whatever. I guess I'm swimming in new slut waters tonight.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
They have a house rule that you get a composite for every 5 guys you sleep with. Where should I hang my new one?
New Orleans is just like you. Dirty but beautiful and will always have a special place in my heart
Don't drink and try to take a shower. I thought I was drowning
Randomize
