I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
Oh shit. I just had to lure him into the bedroom so I could take the list of his negative qualities off the fridge so he wouldn't see.
Do they fuck in the end of "Lady and the Tramp" or am i just wasting my time
I almost punched the night nurse in her face. I woke up and she was standing over me.
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
you just stood there spinning and got mad if anyone tried to stop you
A white limo full of drunken 30 something business people pulls up next to me and asks if they can kidnap me until 1030. If I don't make it back tonight, call someone and tell them I died gloriously
I just burped smoke on the bus. Hello 6:48am
Check 'smoke weed with our ihop waiter' off of our To-Do List
That's the only way to get approved without a guarantor.
WHAT DOES THAT MEAN WHAT FUCKING LANGUAGE ARE YOU SPEAKING
If they were bad they leave that night, if they were good they get a gold star, and if they were great they get invited back. Simple.
I went on an adventure and now we have more food.
Well, really we just have fire sauce and cookies. But they're edible.
He put a doughnut around his dick and I ate it. What can I say. It was a good fucking night.
I get so sad when I watch him slowly destroy his life with whiskey and cocaine. Then he bites my neck and I just want to fuck him. I can't help it.
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
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