I don't get it.
Me neither.
But I masturbated to it anyway.
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
I went to a bar in my pajamas last night. I'll be there again tonight in a wolf costume.
The horrors my penis has endured I wouldn't wish upon any man.
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
No. My vagina is not the scapegoat for your poor decisions.
DON'T WEAR PANTS.
I REPEAT.
DO. NOT. WEAR. TROUSERS.
I need Mexican food. Like, I'd take it through a needle at this point. It's totally worth the track marks.
Surely the maintenance men have seen worse than that condom right
I have the best idea for a new business. It's going to be called "Lamb-Scape". We are going to cut lawns using lambs. You just put 5 or 6 on a lawn and they eat the grass #allnatural
YOU SAID YOU WERE OUT OF POT
..........
He said he remembers me...standing on a snowy roof, smoking a blunt, yelling "you're pretty fly for a white guy" at him. Sounds about right.
It's official. Post baseball sex is better than post hockey sex. I hope the Blue Jays win the world series.
You had a 45min conversation with the Ronald McDonald statue I have the video to prove it
You sent me a very drunk love letter
Was it the one about pterodactyls?
I was disappointed I thought you actually loved me
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