Mind blown. Apparently, it's PRErogative, not PERogative. I blame Bobby Brown.
I love my penis, it thinks for me sometimes
I woke up after 12 hours of being wildly intoxicated, got jizz on my face, and woke up in a different bed than I passed out in. My makeup is still perfect. I'm writing Revlon a thank you note.
Woke up and went out for a cigarette and it was dead quiet. It was like the world just knew how many mistakes were made last night.
I don't know how much more of summer my liver can take.
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
apparently i was just sitting there with my shirt down holding my boobs saying "its ok. its all gonna be ok"
Didn't get to fuck her. Had to leave abruptly through window. Explain later.
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
Apparently love is stronger than SoCo
I'm putting you on my Emergency card so i can spend the last ounce of strength in my hospital bed to flip you off.
Me hangover (as projected). That sounds like a plan. Ill do it for Mexico
The owner was showing me around and pointed at one of the bars and said "this is the one you're allowed to dance on. I could tell you wanted to ask." DREAM JOB.
You were a for sure 10. You put on a traffic cone to meet someone.
If not, I can murder my liver twice...it's like a cat, it has 9 lives
Randomize
