When I woke up his cat was sleeping on my face and i had scratch marks on my neck. not happy.
only room for one pussy in that bed.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
i just picked a peanut m&m up off the floor. with my toes. and then proceeded to eat it.
I just woke up wearing the O-ring from my dildo harness as a bracelet. Classy.
I think I need to stop sleeping with him. Sex with him is just a reminder of the mediocrity of the rest of my life.
I'm not sure, 7-8, the last bit was a rush of at least three blended together. Basically you fucked me so stupid that I can't even recall the number of orgasms.
So you know, I'm making that my facebook status.
we knew we'd be okay when we walked up to the dealers house and he asked us to please be quiet as to not wake his nana.
81 degrees in april.... Thinking margaritacicles, you in?
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
dude, im taking a shit and i just realized it's his MOM in the shower not him...oh fuck
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
It feels so wrong having a picture of my tits next to a picture of my daughter.
I don't know what that means. Any of it. BUT I will be at your house at 10:20 and you better be ready to get high as balls.
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
