i'm going to be honest, my vagina smells.
would it be inappropriate to describe you with the phrase "bigass titties"?
We had sex on my friends waterbed ..after that the whole school kept asking him if he had fun getting "sea-sick" last night.
Does he not understand that naked slip and slide needs supervision after dark?!
i havent blinked in 235 seconds. now 247. now 258. 263. 267. 271. i also have been gifted with theability to both type and count and not blink. 293 so magical
Ryan learned the all important lesson tonight; Red Bull gives you wings, Jaeger gives you gravity.
We're at the urgent care down the street from you if you care to stop by
just found out i can blow out the flame on the grill lighter fill my mouth with butane and ignite a fireball
If you ever bitch out on 72oz margarita night again, this friendship is over
Its important to me that you know there is a tambourine down my pants.
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
when I came to get Jamie there was a cop standing outside with her, made me roll down my window to tell me "she's got to go cause she won't keep her shirt buttoned"
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I knew you were cut off when you tried to order a "Phil Collins"
We will walk in fields of dick.
You seriously need to stop quoting those songs when i'm with my parents.
You can have my vag. Its useless without you.
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