try this...when you orgasm scream his address including city state and zip...
You drank the expired grape juice because you were convinced it had fermented into wine...you have a problem.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
Tell them you aren't trying to make money, you are just the mr rogers of weed,its such a good feeling a very good feeling the feeling you know that were friends
I'm figuring, since someone shoved pizza crust in my ear last night, there might be some leftover pizza.
We're going to catch a squirrel this summer
I think I ate my cheesy fiesta potatoes cup.
That is an awkward looking cockshot, not gonna lie
Strip clubs it is bday boy. One condition. I am in full custody of your ID. I plan on being in no condition to coordinate rescue operations and we need to keep casualties to a minimum. You cannot be trusted.
Alright goddamnit. Can I bring my pirate hat?
I insist.
I rammed pretzels and Jell-O shots down the throats of those I loved.
We have hung out 5 times and only had sex 3 of those times. I'd call that friendship
Firstly: alligator costume is happening anyway. But I'll see what I can do about the balls.
Correction: Jimmy johns. The one pita pit employee has been an asshole to me ever since you locked them out of the store
Going on a first date tonight...pros: my boobs look amazing. Cons: my abortion isn't until next week.
Let's make this a nightly thing. You'll explain the Watergate scandal like you're telling me a bedtime story while I eat popcorn high as fuck
Randomize
