So why didn't Edward and the Cullens just kill Hitler?
You need to stop watching Twilight.
Just had a conversation with Jon gosselin
Until you fuck him in front of his kids stop wasting my time with stupid texts.
Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
i was just skypeing her and i saw the vagisil medicated wipes in the corner of her room. i'll be breaking this off tomorrow
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Disregard any previous text from the past 12 hours. Except for the one about scoring a strike while drunk bowling. Remember that one.
Apparently I did my philosophy paper last night. It's not bad either.
Yes my plan is to drink the college out of me so i can be an adult by monday
He's still filling me in on the details. mid-table dance i asked to go water skiing?
Do you think i can prewrite an apology on friday and leave it vague enough to just finish on sunday?
ok. can u leave the new roommate a list of instructions for me? like what i need to be fed and when i need to be exercised?
Corn dogs constantly. And all.the time
I said we should get a taxi and you were waving down cars, three of which were cops and one of them slowed down and shook his head then kept driving
He didn't think we needed a taxi
Had weird bad dreams about you last night. Please tell me you didn't google my real surname and that you don't go to a needle exchange.
I currently hiding in an upside down garbage can please come find me
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