Then you jumped off your bed with your arms outstretched, yelled "I'm Goliath, watch out New York!" and then began singing the Gargoyles theme song as you 'soared' around your room.
Don't be ridiculous, the Gargoyles theme song has no words. How could I sing that mess?
You just started going "da da da da da! da da da da da! DA DA!!" then going "swoosh" as you glided about.
Just set a new record on Need For Speed at the arcade. Had to enter Tiger Woods as the name.
Someone will be leaving this trip either pregnant or devastated.
No no no no no. Not interrested. She looks just like Kim's fat booth picture. Only real.
Dear Derek. I would like to offer my sincerest apology for the 2 to 6 text messages you are about to read. Also for the 15 minute voicemail, which may or may not have sent. Sincerely, Sober Katie
You know its been a rough night when for a large portion of the evening you have accepted your death
You will never know an awkward moment until your parents pick you up from a one night stand.
I want to name my colorful bowl Batman. Why? I still have yet to figure it out. But I'm calling it Batman.
So just what does one wear when attending a sex toy party with ones mother-in-law?
Jeans and a nice top.
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I have a tab of a google image search of onion rings open and it is making me so happy.
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You licked my eyeball, you are officially cut off. If you just missed you can have a second chance on Friday.
Hey, I found that piece of pizza you lost in my bed last night. Never again...
The guy I slept with in AZ just called and is moving here next week.
Randomize
