Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
You know, Peter Parker would not have been nearly as cool if he had gotten bitten by an ant.
i'm not going because i feel like it's just gunna be a "this is your life" who i banged this years addition
nothing says 'im willing to leave my comfort zone for you' like letting you choke me during sex
HOW DID YOU END UP IN THE BATHROOM WITH A DANCER AFTER 12 MINUTES?
I really hope the fuck ferry pays me a visit to close out 2011 properly.
So we just left her at the hospital. She is not ruining my Monday night
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
He brought a TOOTHBRUSH and TOOTHPASTE with us on our date..... I want to go home and forget I ever decided to be nice and go on this date in the first place...... A TOOTHBRUSH!?!?!
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
I reek of vagina.. My cab driver commented.
I need to sanitize my soul.
AND I woke up to eggs in my bra. Thanks Taco Cabana...
I wanna print it out and hang it on the fridge like parents do with good report cards.
oh the joys of a picture of a negative pregnancy test
If I hear that song one more time I will drive to hell and make John Lennon eat my ass.
Randomize
