I thought she would fill the void you created. Turns out she thought I just wanted to fill hers.
shes perfect for him. shes never seen a penis so she has nothing to compare his to.
Your therapist is not going to think that you using your vagina as revenge is okay
If you want to borrow my flask for all future interviews as a good luck charm because your last one went so well with it in your suit pocket, just let me know
I WISH WE COULD PLAY THE DRINKING GAME TOGETHER AND THEN BANG FOR AMERICA.
Laying in bed nude eating a Big Mac with a cat. It's gonna be a good year.
Seriously? People are paying $45 for Surge?!? I've seen better one night stand decisions being made then the choices being made on amazon orders of Surge
So when he asked me to go on a date tonight, I didn't think the words "have you tried a suppository" would be part of the evening.
I don't know what's worse. The fact that my biological mother is an unwitting bigamist, or the fact that my half sister is trying to seduce my girlfriend.
I'm no longer puke free since 2013 am I.
Working nightshift means its never too early to start drinking- and you can quote me on that
I may or may not have spiked my gatorade to get through a game of monopoly with these children.
My ex boyfriend literally just asked "who needs porn?". This is EXACTLY why I dumped his ass.
I really hope this is just a phase, because I am not capable of carrying both of our drunken whore asses through life. Too much dead weight....
I’ve basically been controlling him with my tits for months now, so I can’t even imagine what would happen if I start banging him
Randomize
