do girls know yet that the best boners are in the morning?
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
So instead of getting the if-you-hurt-my-little-girl-youre-dead talk, i got the alcohol-is-our-friend talk, i like her dad already
vaguely remember the bartender stopping me outside last night so he could pull the duct tape out of my hair
we decided to do a scavenge hunt for ourself for when we walked back to our apartments. We hid taco bell behind some bushes. I think they are still good.
searching "dave" under the university of pittsburgh on facebook was not exactly how i hoped to find my baby daddy
I fell asleep to him stroking my ass calling it his precious.
Apparently drunk me thinks it's a good idea to put drops of acid in assorted open drinks in the fridge... This should be a fun week.
I woke up in nothing but a shower cap and your sparkling coke straw snorter thing inbetween my toes. Explain.
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
Sex in a hot air balloon, top that one!
You know the sex was rough when you wake up with a chipped tooth. I have no regrets
Instead of going to my moms birthday party I went over and gave him head. I should win non girlfriend of the year award
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