1:57 a.m. Where did you go???
1:58 a.m. What are you doing? I want to go home with you, why aren't you responding?
2:11 a.m. Heading back to your place now, will you let me in?
Its not alright that i make out with a manican.
that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
Im about to have a threesome, Ill pay you twenty bucks to go clean my room. Just throw it all in the closet.
Until then we have the self affirmation from retweets and nights alone with pizza..
The bartender asked if I wanted a to-go cup for my crown and coke.....I just realized I'm back in Montana and fuck did I miss home.
Just remember my house smells of thick cut bacon and I have a big dick.
Kriste-san. Brian-sensai going to sleepy times acturry. Kriste-grasshopper will spend fun-fun times with Brian-sensai and glorious redbox movie tomorrow yes?
Most creative movie date proposition... ever.
Dude you filled up a protein shake mixer with White Russians so you didn't have to keep coming upstairs.
There comes a point, as I lay on the floor of the work disabled toilets contemplating catching 10 minutes sleep between chunders, that I wonder if its really worth it
this case of pbr just wont end. i keep finding more.
Moral of the story: I had sex to Back to the Future last night.
Is it bad that I'm tindering right now? I'm naked on his couch while he's slaving over legal documents for work. And he doesn't have cable, so what else am I supposed to do?
He cannot be your sugar daddy. He looks like a literal hot dog.
It was a "have 911 on speed dial" kinda night
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