so craigslist just dropped their "erotic services" ads. there goes our livelyhood
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
i don't really know how much tequila is too much
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
My present? It was a fake boarding pass he made in Photoshop. He litterally just gave me a one way ticket to Pound Town
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
he gave me a new purse full of weed and five boxes of samoas for my birthday. best boyfriend ever.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
This was baby jesus's way of getting you to wait until the next bikini wax
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
When he sent me a picture, I swear my vag frowned. That tiny.
I told him I'd clean his cock if he ever sent my GF another text message. It was a horrific time for me to miss the l key on my iPhone.
It was like, once I started flashing you, I couldn't stop.
Legit just looked at the gin bottle and said, “Aw fuck, I’m going to feel this in the morning.”
Randomize
