I hate bills.
Like ones you have to pay or people named William?
i was so high last night that i actually googled "how to get un high"
if you ask that question again our friendship is over
I havent dry-humped that much since freshmen year. Forgot how good it doesnt feel.
the dude from the bar called to tell his mom about me immediately after we finished PLEASE COME GET ME
Sundays have taken on a whole new meaning when I'm not in bed with an excruciating hangover.
Just finished texting the 27th male name in my phone that i don't recognize. none of them were the hott kid i made out with last night. the search continues.
It looks like a tornado ripped through our living room and scattered clothes everywhere.
Count the bras. It was a category 3 whorenado ... I convinced the lesbians to come back to the apartment for a bottle of wine.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
The girl in the hotel room next to us walked out at the same time as me this morning. She just shook her head, looked at me and said, "faker." Is it that easy to tell?!??
Front seat of an Escalade in a limo-service parking lot. That is all.
I'm studying. And by studying I mean I am laying on my floor drinking boones farm alone. Last two weeks. Fuck it.
We dated for a month and a half. he didn't like blow jobs. I honestly don't think he was human.
According to timehop today marks the 3rd anniversary of my 1st blackout
I'm just happy stripping was the reason you fractured your hand
Sorry I fucked your cousin. Again. I just wanted him to take me on his boat.
Randomize
