Want to have sex later?
This feels like a trap
After they won there was a guy outside Magee Hospital yelling "name your kid Sidney"... that guy may or may not have been me.
he just put it in my mouth and said "go"
better to have posed nude and lost than to never have posed nude at all...thats what i always say
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
I don't think there was a moment this weekend where grey goose did not course through my veins
My vag has a bald spot. That is so middle aged. Is this my midlife crisis?
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
She was eating leaves off of trees and saying it was salad, and even told a guy in passing that her favorite color was plaid.
Dude, I traded weed for crunch berries. Happy Thursday.
I'm smoking pot with a man in a pink suit, size 15 wide shoes who bought his bowl from a place called Chinese Bling Bling while I'm dressed as a unicorn drinking pumpkin beer
I have just found the cubicle of sustenance. And I will rejoice at all the families that have not found this magic. This vodka cubicle of magic.
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
IM ON THE WEIRD DRUGS AND I JUST SAW THAT TOM HARDY THING NOW I WANT TO HUMP
She passed out in my baby sister's room so we put her in one of my grandma's diapers, put a pacifier in her mouth, put her in my sister's crib and took pictures.
Randomize
