My mom foundout about my dui nd just called me to come home. I just took acid like 30 min ago. Wht should i do?
Good news! Whoever used this stall at Target earlier...not pregnant!
it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
i was so drunk that i ate a carrot out of her guiena pig's cage and thought it was normal
I hope no one judges me for becoming a facebook fan of "Adderall" at 5:49 AM...
Can you send me the video of that girl that got arrested last night? I'm gonna try and hit that and I need something to break the ice with.
You're just jealous because you lost me and I ended up at another party licking Marshmallow Fluff bikinis off of lesbians.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
you guys just sat there and simultaneously smoked bowls staring at each other... it was like a bowl off or something.
He left his cock-ring in my truck.
Consider it a gay sex souvenir.
No more chicken and waffles served by drag queens at 2 AM. :(
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
million dollar idea: razor dispensers in bar bathrooms. your welcome, girls who didn't think they were getting laid tonight.
We bird danced in front of the bird cages for 20 minutes. I think it was our way of being like fuck you guys you're in a cage and we're on summer break.
I'm going to go ahead and refrain from sexting you in an airport that is currently at a "level orange" security threat.
Randomize
