Wooohooo! I'm sitting in the car like a creep watching people walk in and out of Blush. Lots of happy people.
whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
OK...I gotta go get strawberry short cake cakes and knee pads
I told him I was pregnant. Figured it would soften the blow of telling him I had herpes.
Did it?
Not as such, no.
I'm drinking reisling in a paper cup by myself in the garage.
I just licked the seasoning off all the doritoes in the bag. Tell me when I should stop drinking or I'll just move on to the sunchips
Would you feed me pudding while my fake tan dries?
The cop asked you if you had been drinking and you said you drank milk out of a cow.
I rememeber. I showed him the picture on my phone of me drinking out of the utter, right?
I'm sorry I did drugs then got really loud and bitchy at your party and judged your choice in one night stands.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Just discovered i ordered the nhl center ice package back in september, the operator said there was a note next to the time I called, indicating I may have been intoxicated while calling (no clue why but it was noted)...meaning I was drunk...meaning ill never miss another sabres game...i love me and am beaming with self pride
Dude. You stood in a corner laughing your ass off while folding clothes, facing the wall. Yes, they were weed brownies..
We have your weave and dirt in our room.
Sometimes i like to think we arent living together next year and that im living with models that like to experiment but you ruin that fantasy time and time again
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Randomize
