I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
Mark is going to get hypothermia. he is shirtless eating snow bc he "doesnt want to be dehydrated" tomorrow. youre in charge.
I'm missing some hair, but it's cool. Breadsticks are done.
Just woke up from a weed coma and found a stem in my bra. Rainy day success.
I want to be stormed in. I want to be stuck there. I want to climb a pyramid of strippers to safety
You christened everyone with a powdered doughnut and then tried to absorb vodka with your nipple.
Don't talk to me about scholarly dedication until you've taken a final in boxers, a bloody tank top and a zip tie to hold your hair back. I wear the most sullied 4.0 crown of all time....
He visits one Denver strip club and now hes moving there
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
Have a glass of wine with dinner they said. Your hydrocodone has worn off they said... NOPE
I tried to smoke out of half a banana, and lit my nose hair on fire. So I feel like that sums up my life pretty well.
I do not mind being torn from the first touches of sleep to see a man who looks like that
I'm sorry I was just sleeping on the kitchen floor I'm too dead to think
TYLER OWES ME SO MUCH
I LET A CREEPY MAN I DONT KNOW SUCK ON MY NIPPLES
I was trying to type "I just want you naked" and it put "I just want you baked"
Randomize
