it was like playing where's waldo with your underwear
if we break up, blackout me is coming back, making out with everything in sight
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
Apparently we both projectiled on Erin at the same time.
That's some true roommate bonding right there.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Dont really know what happened near the end, Pockets were filled with skittles though
Would it be inappropriate to rub one out in the gym shower? I mean, technically, I pay $80 a month to do what I want so could they really say anything?
Shower is fine. Steam room is shady. I've probably done both at one point in my life so I can't be used as a good reference.
She ran over a curb, took out a yard-sale sign and hit a fence before admitting to me that she may be losing her vision "a bit". Never letting grandma drive again.
I had a spiritual reading tonight and my dead grandmother called me a whore.
the only thing she has in her apt so far is toilet paper and shot glasses. you can see where the priorities lie.
You have the most beautiful penis I've ever seen. I never thought penises were meant to be beautiful, but you proved me wrong
For a girl who cried from fear the last time she was asked out, this. Is. TERRIFYING!
I just found weed in my bra #magicboobs2k16
Okay, since we're going to be living together and I'm obviously better than you at everything, I have one single simple rule that I want you to follow: DO. NOT. FUCK WITH ME.
I just want to eat chicken fingers and drink beer and smoke in bed with my laptop so I can watch Netflix
So your not doing THAT great with the break up then...
Randomize
