I had to get a ride home from that girl that slept with 3/4 of the band
I haven't been able to trust a girl since spanks came out
you called me at 4 am to tell me you found the cracker barrel location where we'll have lunch next week
i think i had a heart attack, prayed, and jizzed my pants.all at once.
I just had a flashback of me saying "I'm not ready to be a deadbeat mom" lastnight.
Food Network. Taking bong rips everytime we want to eat. BOBBY FLAY.
You can't buy drugs with a ziplock bag full of quarters, chuck-e-cheese coins, and a starbucks giftcard.
watch me
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
We played a 4 hour game of True American then we fucked on the floor for a couple hours Happy 20th to me
She's eating hot cheetos out of the bag with chopsticks, Matt, how is she NOT my soulmate?
It's a mix of hot dirty sex and week old bong water
COME TO THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN AND I WILL GIVE YOU MY SAGE ADVICE.
The married guy I've been fucking broke it off because I'm not a trump supporter and don't share his "traditional values".
I want to find him again. His Corona tank top and I were made for each other.
You are telling me my dick tastes like a taco supreme?
I'm saying this "taco supreme" tastes like your dick.
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