The elaphant ear plant popped a new leaf ! Wahoo !
Dude, hurry and get over. I need a wingman. She is on her 6th vodka shot and her resident ugly friend is still sober
so I think I'm done having sex with her, she's way too crazy
what about the blowjobs for adderall?
no those are still okay
I am laying on the kitchen floor eating cold chicken fingers and drinking wine. welcome to my new years party.
I left my toothbrush at her house. This is getting way too serious for me.
He was about to puke, and so I handed him an empty beer can. In retrospect, not very helpful.
What are you talking about?! I shot gunned a monster while simaltaneously blowing gym boy Todd. If I'm not the poster child for being well rounded and versatile I have no idea what NYU is looking for
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I just feel like you're using me for sex.
I'm glad you finally understand the context of our relationship
I'm sooo hungover. I fell asleep on top of a car in a parking lot last night. New one to add to the list.
This is going to be the time I got green body paint on Chris' ceiling all over again...
We mailed him an 18 inch double headed dildo for his birthday. The Fedex guys certainly got a laugh out of it.
That guy has been pretty randomly in and out of my vagina for 4 years...I don't think I'm required to tell him when I'm dating.
Good point.
Dude, my vagina feels like new again! I love antibiotics. How's your day?
In the past year, I've fucked 3 Dave's and you've fucked 2 Dave's. That's a lot of Dave's in our vaginas.
We need to start a soap opera called the Dave's of Our Lives.
Randomize
