weak ass sauce last night. waste of time. you suck. ps. your boobs are fake
but she was nice to me.
She was a fuckin STRIPPER.
Im not sure if he just tripped or was star gazing, but i gave him head anyway.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
Don't you ever say "drinking at 2" as if it's a bad thing again. I'm asking you as a friend here.
i think i figured out where our problem might have started...when we poured more tequila on top of out margaritas to melt the ice bc they were too cold
hahaha or putting rum in the bbq sauce?
gorilla chasing a banana on crotch rockets. Halloween is getting way too real
I told the DJ last night to play Third Eye Blind before 1:45 and just pointed at him as I walked away. He didn't do it and at 1:45 I just walked out pointing at him, without my friends
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
Officially spring today. First sighting of loud-ass Steller Jay on the balcony.
did i get sucker punched in the face last night or was our make-out session just that intense?
Already doing pt exercises by picking my margarita up off the night stand. Fuck yeah.
never let me tell the bartender to cut me off, i basically told on myself
Yeah. Of all the things to be cock blocked by a plague is the most unexpected.
Randomize
