I'm drive I can fine osifer
If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Why does Jon Cryer have a career?
That is a good question.
Do you ever creep on the girls you have banged and wondered how their walk of shame went?
And then. You beer bonged 3 tall boys. In a row. Fell into some kids lap. And pulled down my shirt trying to get up. Thank you for that. I got laid
I've reached the point in my life where I desire cats more than men
They were loudly fucking last night and there was way too much conversation involved. It wasn't even dirty talk, it was more like "your doing it wrong" talk
Then me, her, and her mom snorted tequila. The bartender was in shock.
Honestly I'm not even that excited to see my boyfriend. I'm more excited to see his penis. His penis inside of me.
I was telling everyone at the frat that they had to try the "fantastic refreshment" that was everclear, vodka and country time
It looks like a baby bear tried to chew off my nipples.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
Sometimes I refuse to go through a door until someone holds it open for me because I'm a fucking lady.
Ugh I don't want to adult today. I need like a dozen more coffees. Or cookies. They're interchangeable.
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
Randomize
