It's just you. You wear the fuck me fedora and wear baller shorts, hollywood hippie who thinks she is shakira when she's drunk.
it was like fucking the hulk in a smartcar
mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
walked right past julianne moore (on her walk of shame this morning) god i love new york. :)
She thought someone was breaking in but when I said it was me she got even angrier and threw a coffee mug at my head.
I just put bacon on a thin mint and enjoyed the shit out of it. I better not be fucking pregnant.
Important update! My next door neighbours have a canoe. Repeat: THEY HAVE A CANOE! We are having sex in it before this summer is over.
we have what I like to call an assload of ramen noodles
I'm at the bar, forgot my pants. Everyone's over reacting
I need to see you idiots before I go back to school. But we shouldn't snort Crown Royal this time.
The house across the street caught on fire today, Drunk people high centered their car tonight. Looking out my front window I get to watch police chases all the time. I am going to miss this place.
It shouldn't be this hard to find someone who you haven't blown.
my mom just came into my room and handed me a news paper article about women on the verge of a drinking problem... i can already tell its not about to be sunday funday
the cop found his r2d2 bong and asked me if i ever smoked out of him. i'm like, no sir. he's like ahh. if i were to smoke, it'd definitely be out of some star wars character.
easily made my night.
Dude, you screamed I AM THE WALRUS while giving a statue of Ronald McCdonald a lapdance. You were NOT sober.
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