So Jesus turned water into wine. So what? I once turned a whole student loan into natty light. Your move holy man.
felt a little awkward waiting for my McNuggets after vomiting all over the counter
They are making fun of natty and blackberries.
Tell them they are ugly.
I dont think yelling "Grab your dicks, time for pics!" helped your case either.
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
He was sucking my nipples then stopped, looked me dead in the eyes and said "im gonna cum for my babygirl"
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
I will be going to walgreens soon.. nothing says trainwreck like pickin up a scrip for xanax at 2am drunk..
He bought me a burrito. I introduced him as "Horse-Dicked Jake" all night. My debt has been repaid.
I'm driving home wearing one sock, boxers, and a tee shirt. That's how good it was
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
If I send you a picture of a dick will you give me your honest reaction?
I look at it as community service. He was going through a rough time and I gave him an ego boost. That's how we're going to remember it. I was doing a good deed lol
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
Randomize
