IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
just got a hand job during a movie in class today is gonna be great!
road dome is illegal, just asked in driving school.
She was wearing a "Got Beer" hat and your bed had necco wafers all over it the next morning. Another story for the grandkids.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
You took a bag of frozen peas to bed wiith you "to help with the inflamation".
In my drunkeness I was planning how to throw up without my parents hearing. I was gonna go for a "run" and just throw up outside.
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
I can't even tell you how many rave sticks I tore apart with my teeth last night.
Judging by the garbled spelling in the calendar reminders in my phone, drunk me really wanted sober me to take a pregnancy test today.
Third base with a 7ft basketball player last night. Fingers like a champ. I call him Edward Penishands.
Please tell me you have Advil or Tylenol or ibuprofen or a fucking baseball bat
I am making up for a 7 year dry spell so I get a pass and I don't always care if there is a second date. It is like college but with more money and condoms.
Hey I didn't mean to be all lemme get with your ex husband.
You have to get it done early. Like a dick drive by. Hit it and run.
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