I tried to tell him it was only 2:00, but he said since it was 5:00 in New York, it was perfectly acceptable. He then put on a Blues Brothers hat and a pair of wayfarers and left. I expect him home in a few hours with a police escort.
stalking is really helping my grade.. I followed him to a review session tonight
just prayed to lady gaga in hopes it will help me pass my fashion merchandising final...what is my life?
The only birthday messages I got from men were from my 8th grade boyfriend and the bouncer at our bar. I think I'm doing something wrong in life.
how do i say, "my ex is going to be at this party so don't look like shit" without sounding like a bitch?
Every time you blow me I should make a paper crane and we'll make them into a chain and hang them from the ceiling. And then whenever we have people over and they ask what the cranes are for I'll say "reminders" and wink at you.
dude when im high using logic is an accomplishment that should be rewarded. make sure u get cinnamon twists
He asked her to marry him and she said yes. There is NO WAY she knows about his penchant for wearing lingerie.
My RA just sigh me high as fuck acting like a zombie and scratching at my door. Thoughts?
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
i just realized I haven't been laid all summer. So sad. What a waste of a perfectly good vagina.
I fell asleep while eating jimmy johns last night and then woke up at 5am and continued to eat it
I swear to god, I'm like....the Jedi master of dick.
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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