apparently, "please pick me up from the airport" also means "i got drunk on the flight and need to give you roadhead in broad daylight"
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
no they seem fine, they're doing push ups and waiting for a charging toy helicopter
I also would have accepted most things ending in "job", erotic favors, and food.
he brought me knee pads...is that sweet or weird?
Took me 12 hours to be sober again. Shitshow mission accomplished
Its all fun and games until someone grabs the electrical fence.
Dude, you bit through my nipple. Give it a week, damn.
We shall study the pictures later and see if his penis is worth my time.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
The only way I can describe the noise he makes when he has an orgasm: dying walrus.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Currently hiding in the shower from the RA and my elbow turns it on. Showers and Ciroc don't mix..
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize
