Just lost my virginity while listening to rick astley. torn between horror and jubilation
Dude I'm telling you, conditioner is the best for jerking it in the shower. It feels great and afterwards everything is all smooth
I just realized I'm gonna get paid at midnight on New Years Eve. That could be dangerous.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
On a positive note, new entry in my phone as 'HOT ASS, DOWN TO FUCK'. idk if its a boy or girl tho.
Update, its a couple
He told me that "my little fuckpig" was a term of endearment in Britain. I think I'm in love.
How dare she call you insensitive. Should have told her about the time you let that girl in the wheelchair wearing the sombrero blow you.
I was pretending that it wasn't happening. Until we had to roll down the windows as she was vomiting apologies into a Target bag.
Yep and i guess after he came back from that he sat down next to me and i just put my hand right on his penis just casually like it was his leg
get back quick. that 17 year old who peed on your car wants to do shots.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
She once gave me sex advice over the phone while intoxicated. So no you don't have the cooler therapist.
It's a hurricane, not a zombie apocalypse. WHY DID YOU BUY SHOTGUNS?!?!
I assume you passed out however I'm drinking jäger and beer in bed with my cat so your friendship world have been appreciated
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Randomize
