i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
He wants to be 'in an open relationship'. Fuck that. That's the online equivalent of letting him pee in a circle around me.
BIGGER SANDWIJH COME NIW OR DIE
The gym is handing out free condoms this week, motivation to work out this week?
A man in denim coveralls just shotgunned a beer on the dance floor
I want the one making out with the dumpster. Is that bad?
Dude..this is the third year in a row me and him have fucked at a super bowl party..does that count as a tradition?
Throwing up in the car while my mom drives, sister holds the bag & my dad holds my hair. This is how my family bonds.
When people ask about my bruises, I'm just going to say it was a doorknob. Or possibly a group of doorknobs. Angry doorknobs.
He thought my hair would soak it up. I HAD TO CUT IT OFF.
You know I'm having a rough day when I'm curled up in the corner eating Spaghettios.
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
Nothing. Its like my body doesn't know how to function on a Saturday when its not hungover and/or still drunk.
We were taking body shots by lunch. I love college.
The moral of the story is this:the last shot of the night is always a mistake
Randomize
