the only thing i knew about you is that u dated jordan and were potentially interested in a threesome
I dont need to watch it. And stop comparing your life to Entourage.
we had you propped up in a chair and fed you donuts. i've never seen you happier
You sent her a pic of your dick with 'guess what you cant have anymore' written on it with a marker.
She wore that goddamn strap-on all night. When she was playing guitar hero it kept getting in the way but she just wouldn't take it off.
You "were" hungover, which is past tense. So that gives you no excuse not to go out tonight.
It's one of those nights that you wish to god someone would booty call you, and then realize you'll just be stuck here with your poptart...
Come on. I'll make you hot pockets. Literally and sexually.
I managed to get through my meeting without throwing up in someone else's office, so there's that for an accomplishment today.
I woke up on his couch and my bra was flung across the floor and filled with animal crackers
Let's make an agreement. No drugs until you finish all your homework. I'm hiding them as we speak.
like, by the end of my shift people were asking if I'd sobered up enough to take a drink order yet. that bad.
Do you think if I had a tempurpedic bed he would still be able to feel me fingering myself after we have sex?
We were fucking in the bedroom then we heard Sports center on in the living room. He stopped midfuck when I started celebrating that my team won over his
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
Randomize
