OMG. Drunk.
I'm so glad you fill me in on these things.
Sorry. Must've been trying to twitter.
cab driver says "I saw your friend who opens her legs. she went home with two guys." pretty sure he was talking about you
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
he was playing drums on rock band as i poured bailey's into his mouth. tell me that's not a bonding moment.
We have literally factored in $2200 for bail money in the budget. This vegas trip will be out of hand. We are signing confidentiality contracts.
i'm teaching a bunch of people how to grow weed over snapchat. no shame.
The ONLY reason I am doing laundry is because all my sweatpants are dirty.
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
So I considered mediating this morning and instead I master-bated...same thing right?
Hey! How are you feeling? Still preferring soup over sex?
literally took my pants off in the middle of bourbon last night without taking off my heels im a super human i guess
At least you didn't lose your virginity to chumbawumba
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