CONFIRMATION: i wiki searched it and Justin Bieber is 15 not 13. so i dont feel like as much of a pedofile now....
They said "my eyes made me look intoxicated" ......we harassed them all night and we called the cops and told them that the bouncer that kicked us out was selling meth in the club ...and then we went to wendys
wicked high...have munchies. cherry flavor lube. problem solved.
How far into the semester do we have to be before it's ok to get drunk in between classes again?
ARE YOU ALIVE? usually when i say lets start drinking at inappropriate times you come right over. im worried
still wasted. at home depot . just threw up in one of the demo showers. not okay.
my drunken justification for peeing in her closet was that her shoes were ugly
All I need right now is some mouthwash, dignity, and security camera footage...
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
Is "sorry I booted you out mid-fuck last night" a good icebreaker?
Well I'm sleeping with two of them cause they have nice cars. And the third cause she has a big rack. I'm just really waiting for it all to blow up in my face so I can find a girl I'm actually interested in
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
I'm going to need a Jurassic park sized pooper scooper to deal with all this shit last night caused.
We made out a little and then he gave me some weed. I would say it was a pretty productive stop on my way home
I swear to God if you start calling your dick “my pegasus” we’re not friends anymore
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