the man who designed bathrooms to have toilets within easy puking distance from the shower is my hero
He kept coming back from the bar with hotter girls and just left with two...I feel like I just witnessed something amaZing. Like meeting Jesus and finding out he has no morals either
Uh oh. Middle aged belly dancers. And they just got out swords. Shit is about to get real.
I'm stealing this baby.
Well I always support illegal activity but where would you put it?
sea world and a strip club? BEST DAY EVER!
Let's not fuck on an air mattress tonight...I'd rather get rug burn.
I just saw a herd of slutty loofahs run down the street...
I know. But whatever I'll just eat cold pizza and play with my cats by candlelight
at work, .. 47 yr old boss was in a fight. 2 BLACK EYES. I may get fired. I cant stop laughing
Oh like it's the first time I've had a bowl of wine
Does she know she is talking to people who slam shots of fireball and chase it with vodka?
He texted "fuck you" before blocking me on all social media. Come to think of it, that's also the last thing my mother said to me. Could it be that I'm the problem?
I am available for nakedness
I was grinding on my boss last night. So Monday will be fun. That's what's going on in my life right now.
Refresh my memory....were we forced to leave or did we choose to leave?
Randomize
