i know ur right I'm sorry I'm stupid and incompitent look I can't even spell incompetent right! Fuck!
Drawing on your hand and calling it yenifer lopez doesn't count!
bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
operation harelip BJ is a go
Drunk and had dance off with 8 year old. Lost. Still drinking
We folded our dollar bills into airplanes. This really makes the strippers work for it. Like air miles.
i dont even know how to be here
We started hooking up and a group of freshmen outside my window started chanting my name. Encouraging yet distracting
We still going to Happy Hour
Idk. I can't because it doesn't fit in my schedule of sleeping or throwing up
He's afraid of heights. How do I know, you ask? Blowjob on his roof.
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
I am a 5'4" ball of sexual frustration and vodka. It is that kind of night.
I just slapped myself in the face with my dildo and I know that's a weird thing to share but I just had to tell to someone omg I'm laughing so hard
Good news, finally found someone who remembers Saturday night. Bad news, everyone in the bar saw your penis
"Here let me wipe my uterus off your dick" was probably the most unsexy thing said after period sex. I should get an award
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