Yes, one should always join a cult. At least once.
Do you know how when animals have surgery they put those cones around their heads so they can't lick their wounds so they can heal? I think someone should invent that for human emotions.
I mean, she is a dancer for the Suns. If I didnt fuck her that would just be bad team spirit.
We were hooking up and you crawled into bed with us, because you had lost your phone and didn't "want to be alone at a time like this."
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
I wish they made people sized litter boxes.
You're not supposed to support this behaviour, btw the judge recognized me
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Apparently she broke up w/ her bf like 3 weeks ago. She actually called me to be her bday hookup cause she's single now. Patience- the virtue that occasionally pays off.
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I tried to take a cute nude but sneezed halfway through. I sent it anyway
Your "whiskey dick" is glorious but also terrifying
You kept yelling stranger danger at Nick because he was talking to that girl you didn't like. Your not invited ever again.
public service announcement: beginning at 10pm please text me at half hour intervals reminding me to keep my legs shut tonight. Note, this is not a drill.
Randomize
