That's the last time I fill my pockets with sushi.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
ps if your frozen peas taste like crotch it's because some dude kicked me in the nuts while trying to do a keg stand and I needed an ice pack
The fact that she put a frat guy in check tells me I did some good raising my little sister. Time to see if she does keg stands.
I just did a Kegel and my back popped. My vagina is a gift to penises everywhere.
Technically ya I did. Hes tried to get down my pants like 3 times now and every time I have been all "these are not the Droids you are looking for"
Last night was so embarrassing. I got like almost blackout drunk and threw up in my hand and then blamed it on someone else.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
we dropped acid in chinatown. worst. idea. ever. too many colors. and nobody has any idea where steve is.
Woke up this morning with fake blood all over my bed which is a positive considering last year it was all real blood
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I did something very bad. More specifically, my boss.
Good for you, kid with a beer in hand as you walk to your 11 am class.
I thought this was a dry campus.
That means you have to bring your own beer from home.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
So how often do you needs to see my tits today then?
Randomize
