Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
I misunderstood what a threesome is. Please come pick me up.
You know those ponds where you go and pay $5 and your guarranteed to catch a fish thats how i describe her
let's get her a shirt that says "i went to key west for spring break and all i got was this illegitimate child."
Oh just living the dream. And by living the dream I mean drinking franzia out of a martini glass and watching family matters. Also, drinking every time Carl Winslow has a mustache and Eddie wears MC Hammer pants
i just added no after every hockey player in my phone..
Get caught with marijuana. Cop takes piece. Buy new bong. Circle of fun.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
dude when I get home wanna help me fulfill my dream of smoking a bowl out of my saxophone?
I dont think getting to 3rd base with a girl you barely know is the type of memory they had in mind when they named the park "memorial park"
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
It was marvelous. I was drunkenly conversing with my professor in some of the best Spanish I've ever spoken.
I cant believe you made me read bad furry sexts
should i feel bad about fucking you on my front lawn the day before you set me up with your best friend?
i couldn't be more explicit if i hit him upside the head with a dildo
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