I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
As I was puking last night I told them "it's ok I'm a paramedic"
she was using bread to soak up the vodka off the floor then proceeded to eat it.
No we just stood in the kitchen and laughed for 2 hours about how funny the popcorn noise was.
He's basically wearing those Nike boner sweatpants. It's hard not to jump him. How has your day been?
Please take a moment of silence for the fact that I still have all 10 fingers
I HAVEN'T FUCKED ANYONE IN FOREVER AND A HALF I DON'T DESERVE TO BE A TRASHY BLONDE
Bang-toberfest begins!!
Dude this weed smells so good they should make it into a Vicks vapor rub scent and I would rub it all over myself.
Whatever. That's why I am to be babied like a calf. I regret nothing.
this hangover isn't hhappening. im not letting it
its winning. its definitely happening
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
Try to fuck my roomie AND steal my slippers: you are no longer my favorite cousin.
Bitch how dare you drink my dos equis
No instead we fucked in the elevator.. it was wrong on so many levels..
How tall was the building? Maybe it was only wrong on some of them
Randomize
