is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
I just want to sing "highway to the danger zone" when I'm taking his pants off.
i hope thats the last time i ever see ryan's hairy ass fucking
You left half a beer on someones car and claimed it was a second day of hanakuh gift
You did this to me with your delicious pizza and moonshine.
I'll forgive you once we're drunk again by noon.
her vagina just converted me to Judaism.
The random guy I fucked from craigslist said I had the best smile. I take compliments where i can get them
She said, I've heard about you, from girls you wouldn't even be interested in. What?
that's the second time I've made out with him and woken up with my pants stuffed with PBRs I am convinced he's magic
I just got a voicemail from some strange woman with a Russian accent. Are you ok?
I specifically remember rubbing my eyes thinking I could definitely go blind and I really like came to terms with it I was like ok my other senses will develop this is fine
so my parents definitely heard me when I was cumming last night...
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
Hhhaaa He said Peanutburter disinfect lol. Like peanut butter can disinfect stuff. None of those guys are safe
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