if she shaves her mustache, i'll let her give me head
Words of Wisdom: ordering a pitcher of whiskey cokes, putting a straw in it, and calling it your drink is not socially acceptable
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
The hot Japanese girl in my class just said her "favorite sexy American actor is Nick Cage." That, I can work with.
I woke up with dick mouth, a raw vagina, an empty bottle of vodka and the best man next to me. I also found my thong by the pool. Best.Wedding.Ever.
You are colorful like whore, yet adorable, like sad puppy. You need more drink.
Just found out I called my mom at six in the morning to ask where the bong was. I win.
Yes. I feel like complaining about sex all the time with a 21 year old might be punishable by death of the sex gods so I try not to
Jail is not for me. They portion control your meals and I don't really like that.
So i am officially handcuffed to the pole on the party bus while taking jello shots.....this shall be an interesting night
you know i have almost 1500 fb friends but not ONE drunk booty call?
Whatever the emoticon is for "balls deep". That.
Serious question: is he hot or is my vagina just that barren?
Lol woke up with mangoes in bed with me
How hot? Like... how many hemsworths?
Randomize
