when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
he said i ruined lesbian porn for him
we hooked up. but it was that weird mix of getting naked and watching Balto that made it so awesome.
There is no way that a naked man in your kitchen can be explained-away as a "misunderstanding."
Calling a preemptive no homo on tonight's activities
He started humming whilst eating me out. At first it was weird, but my new motto is now don't knock it before you've cum from it
Now I'm obligated to stay and cuddle with her because the condom broke. Fuck.
wrestling a boy for fruit? sounds suspiciously like foreplay...
How do I have sand in my vagina if we were an hour away from the beach?
I could tell you were slightly drunk by the time you started having a conversation with my tiki torch
Every person I've ever had sex with is in Chipotle right now.
He's driving 2 hours to visit me and he's bringing weed. I love him so much.
he's the kind of guy you give a fake number to and he still finds out your real number anyway...
I was too hungover to sit up and pull the curtains closed so I did it with my toes
Randomize
