The bar is so dead the tender gave us free shots for staying. They mixed 2pac and phil collins. That's worth at least three shots.
Dude. Fucked her last night. Fucked her this morning. went downstairs for water. took 18 pack of Coors Light instead and took it back to my gf's. Got a blow job from her. Drinking the beer on my deck now. Best Day ever.
Facebook really needs to add a bikini picture profile tab for girls, it would really save me countless amounts of time!
Swine flu is the new snow day.
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
why the fuck are my pubes caked with bread crumbs?
I was so exhausted I thought about using my deep throat spray to stop my coughing.
somehow this went from sexting to explaining my eating disorder.
Dude we gotta go back to your cabin. left glenn. he's calling me crying and still drunk
IM SO HIGH RIGHT NOW, IM WHAT ROCKET MAN WANTED TO BE WHEN HE GREW UP. ELTON JOHN CAN BLOW ME.
well what the fuck is the POINT of teetotal mardi gras
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
I tried to put my heels in the coat check
Also food confession I ate an entire bag of starburst jelly beans today. and a plan B. All around think I hit all my nutrients
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
Randomize
