I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
Dude he was freaking out because he thought he was walking on crates, and he just kept saying help me
tried to out drink an american air force weapons loader. never again
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
The next time you fuck up, your grandma sees your dick pics
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
I told myself I'd stop after three shots of fireball. Haha HA hA.
took shots off of a myriad of fake boobs last night. It was glorious.
I think you might be the first man ever to describe getting a blowjob as "neat"
RICK BROUGHT THE HOT BARTENDER HOME. SOMEONE CALL THE FIRE DEPARTMENT, CUZ RICKYS ON FIIIIIIIRE.
lmao nvm she punched him in the face and left
What's the world record for number of orgasms reached on ones birthday? Asking for a friend.
I'm setting goals and achieving them. I'd say I'm quite mature for my age.
You're goal was to fuck him and you don't even remember it.
So my furniture is upside-down, two lamps are glued to the ceiling, and there is a kitten sleeping on Kyle's face. Please tell me what happened last night....
hopefully I won't be diving through a thorn bush to escape an explosion this time
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