i just looked at the calendar to see when spring break is and literally stopped eating
stop changing my ringtone to people fucking, it looks bad at work
I was mid-pee and he walked in, claimed he was looking for his phone, and then asked if we could hook up since we were finally alone.
so yall hooked up?
just woke up to find an unpeeled banana, with a condom on, halfway into my vagina. this better not be you trying to be funny
He told me I had nice tits + they have a great shape. + then proceeded to flatten my boob + show me what the gross tits he's seen look like.
I was basically shocked at how calmly you accepted my violently shoving a french fry in your mouth.
Yeah i was handcuffed to the bed all night but i actually slept like a baby
This guy smelled his armpits before trying to approach me at the bar
I have fence marks all over my body
So far in 2016 I told someone id give them a blowjob for lasagna.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
Definitely the only person to buy 2 handles a 2 bottles of champagne & 3 thirties while wearing a fanny pack
I just found three upside down bottles of grapejuice in a triangle around the air freshener above my toilet... I guess it was one of those nights
Even in drag you're still better looking than your sister.
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
Randomize
