You think ghandi was good in the sack? cuz i sure do.
I'm not gay.
Soooo you want ghandi? is that what your telling me?
If ghandi gives good head...I'm in
Its fine.
Feel like bed is flying. Not sure where we're going. Hope there is candy.
Her parents came home early, i had to hug her mom with a condom on...
Someone left a beer in front of your door...there's a note with it that says "peace offering"
youre not allowed to be friends with girls ive double teamed. period.
I'm sorry. I think I have multiple personalities. Or it was the acid. Either way. I'm sorry.
You better keep a close eye on your uterus tonight cause I am looking good.
I immediately regret the tequila decision.
What I'm saying is DOWNGRADE. Like, do you see the caps lock?
He offered to let her do a line of coke off his hard-on. She said she'd had that hard-on and it would be a bump, not a line. Everyone laughed. That's why he left.
So that answers the first question but not the second: how the fuck am I getting home?
Her weave came out on the dance floor. She was twerking and shaking one minute and her hair flew across the dance floor the next. Great way to be introduced to the family
He called me in the middle of the night to ask my shoe size. Apparently big feet would make me an unsatisfactory third for the threesome.
This reminds me of the time you were crying and puking in the toilet at that party while i did shots of tequila in between blow drying your feet. miss you!
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Well now you know... If you can get over the awkward... The dick is 10 min away.
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