just walked into the room and her sister said loudly, "do him, or I will."
She's like the little sister I never had ... except for the fact we're having sex.
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
Like I said I'm looking on the bright side. The bright side just happens to be filled with penis attached to hot marines
she slipped a pinky in my ass. Not sure if I came because I liked it or if I was terrified by it.
he was inside of, then got up said "we don't want you having a baby," grabbed his car keys and left. so now i'm just sitting on his bed, wondering if he's coming back.
Had sex with one of the guys from Ireland. Celebrating st pattys early.
My aunt comes over, haven't seen her in 4 years. First thing, looks me up and down and goes "...yup, that pair ripened nicely. Theyll get you some free drinks"
I think you were raised by the wrong sister
this is the first time in over a year I had a pregnancy scare and actually would have known who the father was. I guess this is what adulthood feels like.
All of my Tinder matches have neck tattoos. It's like God wants me to go to jail again.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
He apologized for cumming on my leg, but not for ghosting me for 3 weeks before :(
Eventually the conversation shifted (as it always does) to Sex toys.
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