kevin brought a 6ft brunette runway model with him tonight. Now, im not sure what the fuck the color of the " i get it, its over, Im ugly" flag is.... but i'll wave it.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I was excited because I thought I didn't have to tell you about the crabs, but surprise! You got em!
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
Just told the nurse I wouldn't get on the scale. Told her to write FAT.
I just met the 30 percent of the population with an STD
He's engaged. If the world's smallest penis can find true love than I can too.
There was an ice luge. Lets just leave it at that.
Your ankle brace is here and the saw is charged. Grab some vodka that cast is coming off tonight.
I can't help but feel like we would be friends still if my phone didn't always capitalize BUTTLOAD...
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
So who left their underwear on a lamppost in my aunt's backyard
If he comes over I probably get to fuck him and if he doesn't I don't have to pay him the $60 I owe him for weed. It's a win-win situation.
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
I've never had to say don't judge me for chip clips in the shower before
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