Uhh me and Jacque peed on the street outside the bar last night and wiped with flowers. I vaguely remember her repeating the word "fresh" over and over.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
you were carrying around a glass of vodka telling everyone it was Russian water
She's helping me study for the final by writing the vocab words all over her body.
the tow truck driver and i bonded while discussing our experiences with four lokos
First coke bust down the road. Spring is finally here.
I feel like this is going to result in some sort of tearing in my vagina.
Thats a chance were just gonna have to take
Ugh I just wanna make an announcement like: Attention high school classmates: if we haven't spoken in 5 years, we don't need to start now. Please be on your way
He had a tramp stamp of his own phone number. You can't tell me that isn't smart.
I also made him write a nonfiction romance novel about what happened and to give it to me when the time was right
God it's like my stomach is full of drunk bees
At a point I was just cumming dust last night
I had my room mate call my phone after last night and it was in an uncooked quesadilla
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Tomorrow I'm going to tape my thumbs to my palms and my biceps to my abdomen to learn what it's like to be a t-rex for a day. Anyone else in?
Randomize
