What are you doing tonight?
Watching dora the explorer and pining for a sex life.
Friend I haven't seen in almost a year just IMed me to let me know that my mom stuck her boob out the window on the freeway at her.
Her mom responded by mooning my mother. I really don't know what's worse.
i like being sick. whatever the doctor gave me is awesone. the walls are waving at me. i never want to get better.
someone wrote on his wall: "congrats on your engagement"
I think you may want to look into that...
he ran through my sliding door
in his defense that door gets complicated after 10 beers
This place smells like bottom shelf liquor and broken dreams
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
I feel like I have to sign a death waver before I have sex with him...
I need to stop getting in the car with my dad when im rolling balls. I think he's starting to notice my eyes aren't usually completely pupil
Frankly, since I met you, I practically exist in a state of constant readiness for sex
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
It will be too late. I will have fornicated with the enemy by then.
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
I'm hosting my annual valentine's day party tomorrow with every hookup I've ever had. thoughts on how it will turn out ??
If waffles and beer don't scream "fuck me!" then I don't know what else to do.
Randomize
